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Sunday, May 15, 2011

The relentless search

I came  down the stairs in our  converted 5100 sq ft barn home, noticing the unfinished floor loving every inch of it imperfections and idiosyncrasies. I sat in my chair with my Bible and my coffee and glanced over and saw a chair that brought an obsession I had hoped once we came through this I would
be able to leave behind. You see when I walked into this house I went into mental or visual overdrive. I am a OCD type person when it comes to color or images or decorating, also with scale and symmetry. And, yes, that can be a talent, but can also be a force that can drive your life! I remember Kenny had  to go somewhere for the weekend and when he got home  I had painted straight for 2 and half days. I had tunnel vision! It did not make for a very nice person! Well this house is a decorators  DREAM COME TRUE!!!! But the other 99% of  people who looked at it ran! As I walked thru the house and the property my adrenaline was at its max! I remember as we drove away Isabella said, "Mom that house was scary". And Wyatt said, "Mom you can make anything look good." Cole said, "Yes she does it all the time. No biggie." I  felt like superwoman, but also a little scared because I had no budget. "Budget" that's funny, Kenny has a saying, when I say something really outrageous, "Woman your funny", especially when I have a certain "tone",  well I was hearing that tone. Their was no budget, I didn't even have the deposit or the first months rent,  the light deposit, let alone cable or a landline. One of those defining moments. But my little mind had colors, light fixtures, sitting arrangements, who got what bedrooms and whose bathroom was whoms. Now remember Kenny was 5oo miles away. Ok back to the chair I see to my right. I had gotten a new black table. I had searched for weeks at our 6th Ave house. I wanted one that was BIG because I love to have people over for dinner. Gathering at someones house for dinner and sitting around the table and visiting. It was a heritage from my Granny, one of hospitality and self-sacrifice, and it was what I, absolutely Loved.  I had people over at least a couple nights a week if not more. This seems to be a lost art that is so wonderful about my Southern roots. So I had picked out all the chairs I needed one by one and needed only one more. But I could not find the one with the right scale. Saying all that I looked at that table and remembered all the hours we spent at that table laughing and loving people. The money I had spent shopping. I had spared no expense. It made no difference who the guest was.  The hours I had spent that day cooking and baking for our guests. Things no one saw. I loved it. I loved to find out what my guests loved to eat and surprise them with their favorite meal. Then I had another guest who hadn't come for a meal. This guest I found downtown, at the lake sleeping on a bottle, later I come to know as Mr Charlie. Then there was the Hungarians nun who had a genetic disorder that caused sores to rise all over her face and made her have to shave her head. She, too,  would become a part of our family. She would have no heat in the winter, live off less than 200.00 a month and get no social service help. Her life was dark and sad. Our home was life and a place of refuge to her. My table was set with my best dishes fresh flowers from my garden and we dressed for dinner for Ms Eve the same as if we we entertaining the Governor. Status didn't matter in our home. Many, many days at that table I had put together baskets of toiletries for my friends I had met at the lake (homeless friends). That table meant far more than a color or scale. So as I reflect on the mission I was on to find that chair I have to thank the Lord for the compassion He has given me for opening my home to the broken and less fortunate. My Granny for having a humble, but warm and loving, home that anyone felt welcome in. For serving people, a talent she had passed to me. A talent I loved. I met the Landlady the next day and she said, "Honey I cant explain it but your shear enthusiasm rented you this house. Where did you come from?!" She thought Georgia when I dropped the "yall" bomb. I said,              "Almost south Georgia, Tallahassee." And she said, "I will keep the utilities in my name until you can make other arrangement!" God is faithful at times when we are not even able to believe. I had not even told Kenny about the house the first day because it was so ridiculous to even consider. So 3 days later we moved our mattresses in the living room and me and the children began a healing that came through this house. And my OCD also began to heal LOL! More of that later to come....

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