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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Job That Should have Been

We were down south when we got the call that a job opening in Roanoke, Virginia was going to be available very quickly. Well my heart lea pt, because of my love for country, and Virgina is full of National history and I had considered returning to school to study American history. I have always had an interest in politics and had I not chosen ministry, I would have probably chosen politics. Which, politics, if chosen for the right reasons, is about serving.  That's a whole nother blog! And the University of Virginia sounded like the perfect place. This sounded like the perfect job, one of those we have it the bag kind of things. Fail proof, oh don't worry  it's all certain, we will get the job, the kids were doing the happy dance, we were making plans, we just knew it was a sure thing. Kenny had a friend who had moved up in a national supply company and he eventually became one of three vice-presidents.  He had
known Kenny to be very knowledgeable about the products they sold, because it was the material he used for over fifteen years in the area of construction he sub-contracted. As we made our way home  warning flags began to surround this "perfect" fail proof situation. It was the kind of job which could really turn things around for us.  It paid an extremely good salary, had a company car, cell, and lap-top .  Kenny call the regional manager and he scheduled to met him and his attitude was as though he was meeting him for coffee. It was a unique and new job, one which Kenny had all the qualifications for and it was going to be extremely difficult to find a person with all the necessary qualities, and the corporate office was in an uproar that the position had yet to be filled.  He showed no real concern for the situation, or, at least, that is the way it came across. No urgency in his demeanor at all.  Things already were not settling well with Kenny, the regional guy scheduled a meeting over three weeks into the future, not right away, he, also, was very unprofessional in his arrangements, not common for a man in such a high position in a company.  It was all a bit foreboding,  but when you find yourself in such a desperate way, you get so hyper sensitive that you began to mistrust your own abilities to see things clearly. And through this, I am ashamed to say, I had also begun to question Kenny, and I started to feel like he was already beginning to be negative toward the situation, when in fact he was sensing a problem, just another one of the emotions that comes out of living through a highly stressful period. You just don't come through it un-scathed or unchanged. Even your relationships change, for the bad and seldom for the good. It is up to you to take the best out of both and make those relationships better.  Kenny and I have come to better places because of what we have lived through, but there were many, many times that the good had a long wait before it would conquer the bad.  But, this mistrust of Kenny's intuition created a very tense situation. My hopes were VERY high. No-one who has ever been in these strenuous and profoundly despairing times knows that the expectations become more powerful, when in fact they are just more desperate, this makes the disappointment that much greater. I had gotten to a point were I just didn't expect anything good to happen, and that is NO better. Medical Insurance, company car, phone it would get us back on track. But the interesting thing about that statement, even as I say it, is that I am not really qualified to say what would or would not get us back on track. We lived our life as best we knew how, applying God's principles to our life and honoring Him as best we could and somehow we still found ourselves here. So I find I don't make that statement much anymore. I go back to that simple prayer I committed to God, God I honor Your name, Your will be done in me, and supply my need TODAY, (but I am a slow learner). I recall a situation, very early in our married life, when we had no credit, we had asked someone to co-sign for us a ford fiesta, well they said "no", and we were crushed. We were living in Georgia and I came down to visit my Dad and my cousin Brian said, "Angie, I have an old Jeep, but it doesn't have a top and you probably wont like it. But we can take a look", well when I saw that 1984 red wrangler and he said here's the keys just make the payments, I thought OMG, I could be driving that Ford Fiesta!!! We made that payment faithfully, before anything else, because he had entrusted me with his credit, I felt indebted and grateful to him. I have a special love for him to this day for helping me in that way.  As I pulled up in that bright red Jeep Wrangler Kenny almost fell over, it was awesome!! I couldn't have picked a more suited vehicle for me than that Jeep! Emma  spoke recently of that  Jeep and was laughing about laying on the floor by the heater because all it had was a bikini top, a "bikini" top! There are those memories we were talking about earlier! So I am very skeptical now, about forcing God's hand at anything. Even when I am in my intimate moments with Him, I pray, "God you have our best interest at heart, God you take us were we need to go, You develop in us what needs to be developed in us. Beyond that, we have made God some
sort of servant to us rather than the reverse, that does strike me as odd. Should the Creator ever be subject
to His creation?  What we are all missing is a sense of purpose and usefulness.  When people feel their lives are serving a true purpose they refuse to become too deeply immersed in the dregs of despair, and one thing I know is that being aware of God's calling and His direction, with a certainty, gives you a grand sense of Purpose.
P.S. About six weeks ago we got the call,  Kenny we really need a guy like you, you've ran a business, you know the products, your suggestion were right on point, WOW man YOU would be a great asset!  Bla bla bla  but...... we just don't feel like you have enough sales experience. COME ON!!!!    Here we go again.