I got a call that Isabella's medicine was ready and it reminded me of a very fearful time in my life. We just could not pay for our medical insurance anymore and it had put a dark cloud over me that I could not get away from. I was still of the mentality that my source came from Capital Health Plan and Aesthetic Engineering Koncepts, not Who 3 years later, I have come to realize, is much bigger than all that, God. A resentment and a small seed of bitterness had been planted in my heart that I don't think I even recognized, yet at moments of distress it would display itself. And let me tell you, as a Mom when your child is sick and you have no means to get them medical care, you can get pretty ugly and you want to find someone or something to blame. Being self employed, we were responsible for our own insurance, with the cost of insurance going up our monthly premium had gone up to almost $1500.00 a month, so when it came to the necessities or our insurance, the necessities were the obvious choice. Isabella was born with a acid reflux, but because I nursed her it did not show up until she was well over 14 months, shortly after I stopped nursing her. The moment I stopped she developed severe breathing problems that none of our local Doctors were able figure out the source of. We were in the emergency room sometimes 2 times a week. She was probably around 2 years old at the time. As a last resort we made an appointment with an allergist, which made no sense to me, she had no allergy symptoms, she just had horrible bouts of difficulty breathing, with a cough that was the oddest cough I had ever heard. I would sit up with her and then she would get so bad, I would finally take her to the emergency room. At this point she had been living on cough syrup and steroids and, yet, with little relief. The first meeting with Dr. Rand Malone, was so emotional I broke down and wept. I felt such relief to have an answer to what was wrong with her. It took him less than 5 minutes to diagnose Bella. He said she had acid reflux. I said, "What a stomach problem!?!" He said, "Yes, the acid is leaving her stomach and coming up her esophagus and going into her lungs and her lungs are producing phlegm to protect the lining from damage". The body was actually doing what it was suppose to do. When I was nursing her my milk was a perfect balance and once I introduced foods it was a downward spiral. We finally had our answer. So he put her on medication and within weeks she was better, but her system had been altered and she was on 5 different medications and they were not cheap. And we saw him weekly for blood pressure checks and weight checks and monthly for blood panel results. He said she was born without the flap that kept the stomach closed but once she was older we could consider surgery. Actually he had the same surgery. But all this was very expensive. So the moment when I knew we no longer had medical insurance I went into an absolute panic attack. Seems like I have alot of those! I thought, "God what am I gonna do". Bella was a very, very sick little girl, when she didn't have her medication. From the time our insurance lapsed we had seen Dr Malone a couple times and had some blood work done, and I had received a bill for around $600.00. Not only the expense of the medications and the doctors but she also needed a very strict diet, that required alot of time and effort and money, and alot of times, I felt as though I was facing this battle alone. There were many times Kenny was facing issues about the business or the church and I was dealing with Bella's illness by myself. And once again, I could feel bitterness and all those questions in my mind and heart, God why, why did our medical insurance get canceled? God you knew Bella would have these problems, you knew we needed insurance, why can't Kenny fix this? God give me an answer, give me somewhere I can go to get help, God, just heal her. And everytime I got a bill from Dr Malone's office, and I had to go in and face the staff, which at this point, it hadn't even caught up (that is, the system had not placed us as being far behind) I felt even more resentment, I felt a little more distant from Kenny and alone. Finally the third month I got the bill I thought God I am going into talk to him. I had awakened the night before and thought, "What if she wakes up in the middle of the night and needs medical treatment and I have no way of getting it for her". I was so mad and bitter, I laid there awake, I don't think I slept more than an hour, I got up and went to the couch, I didn't even want to be in the same bed with Kenny, I know it sound horrible, but I said I would be honest and that is what happened. I thought of all the thousands we had given to the church or to the men working with us and I couldn't even give my own child healthcare. I felt like he had failed me. I felt all alone. I felt like we protected and put everyone before ourselves and our family and now here I was, at three in the morning not able to lay next to my own husband, whom I loved, and I was ashamed of the rage I felt in my own my heart. Finally 7:00 came I got the boys up and got them off to school, dropped Bella off at school, and I went to see Dr Malone. I pulled up and at the same time Dr Malone pulls in next to me. Of all the times to pull in next to the good doctor, today was not the time. Of course I was in a $60,000.00 vehicle fixing to tell him I was broke and not able to pay him $600.00. He greeted me and we walked in together. I sat across from him and we made small talk. Finally I said, "Dr Malone, I am here to tell you I owe you a debt I cannot pay". He got still and I kinda got scared and nervous, so I began explaining what had happened in our business and what we had been going through and I said, "Dr Malone, I am so sorry but I cant pay you the $600.00 I owe. Maybe someday, but I don't know when". He got up and left the room.......I thought ok, maybe I really offended him. He came back in with a box full of the meds Bella and Jesse Cole were taking. Probably 2 years worth. Just the inhalers alone were 110.00 a piece. there were at least 25. He said, "Mrs. Dyer, first of all, my grandfather and my father both were Doctors and I don't think I have ever heard of anyone ever coming in to tell them face to face they could not pay a debt, and I want to say 'thank you'. That touches me deeply. And secondly, God has richly blessed me in my life and you don't have to worry about that debt. It is taken care of. I have already spoken to the billing department. And thirdly, if ever, and I mean ever, you should need medical care, even if you need to go to the emergency room, you tell them to call me and I will meet you there and Isabella will get the care she needs, and that goes for any of your children. God has sent me to you today to bless you". Can you imagine a Dr. telling a patient that kind of thing? I sat there so overwhelmed, I could not speak, I could NOT move, I was stunned! I just stood and he put the box of meds in my hand and I walked to my truck and I cried so hard I thought I would throw up. I felt so ashamed for my behavior from the night before, I sat there staring at the medicine in awe of the magnitude and faithfulness of God and how weak and small I was, yet how much He loved me, how He had managed all the minute details of our life I just could not see them. EVERY detail, a doctor I had met 4 years ago, had been used today to display the faithfulness of God, not the faithfulness of Capital Health Plan or Aesthetic Engineering Koncepts or even Kenny, but someone, He chose to use, to show His faithfulness. It was me who mistrusted, it was never a matter of His faithfulness, it was always a matter of my (war-torn as it might have been) small and weak disbelief. Even to this day, Isabella, nor any one of my children, have never ever gone without medication when they have needed it, that has been 4 yrs ago.