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Friday, May 13, 2011

Bella's xrays

When you go through very stressful life altering experiences I think your mind goes into a protective mode that only allow you to deal with the very minimal things. And then when you are at a better place I think those thing resurface and you have to address them.This is why I chose to tell my story from the present to the beginning because this is how these thing come to me. I recall the first time I realized how bad our situation really was. Isabella had hurt her arm and had to have xray. Well we had already moved in with my Mom so the night before her appointment as I had always done, I went through my closet matching my linen pants with a breezy top bringing out my bag to match the sandals I had picked out. I'd  had my hair colored the day before and had sunned in the yard so I was feeling sunkissed! Went to bed. Morning came got in Moms car and drove to the hospital. As I sat their waiting chatting, smiling up the room, Isabella playing at a table with a little girl my name was called. As I stood, my life suddenly began in slow motion. I looked down at the keys in my hands and they were not even mine but my Mothers.  As I made my first step to the receptionist she said my name out loud and attached to my name was a word I was not familiar with. Medicaid. As I made my way to her designer bag in hand, matching shoes, sweat forming on my forehead, I had a moment. A moment that my life had changed. Just three short years  before my Denali would have been parked out front and my private insurance card would have been in hand. Now back to my walk of shame. As she yelled my name Angela Dyer Medicaid, suddenly I gained my composure and by the time I reached her I had a great sense of pride and appreciation for this great country we live in. A country that would afford my child health care when her Dad had lost his Job.  A country Kenny and I had invested in for all of our adult life. As I drove home from that appointment I thought about the people who face that kind of humiliation on a daily basis and it changed me. And it gave me a greater love for my country. That night as I lay in bed praying God what are we going to do their is nothing left to sell, nothing on the books, no hope of work. God we need you. But I had been praying that for 3 years.

1 comment:

  1. Bless your heart! I guess since "the good ol days" we've all gone our separate ways and thought, for the most part, unless hearing otherwise that everyone was doing fine....probably doing great compared to "us". We all go through really sad, scarey times I guess even though it's not something everyone knows about. Please dont take this the wrong way, but it kind of makes me feel better knowing I wasnt alone when I was broke and had the bank threatening to foreclose and my truck repossessed. Im sorry you guys went through that but I think I know you well enough already to know that you rose above it...grew from it and indeed found something positive to glean from it! Thanks for posting this Angie :)


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