Coming back from financial and spiritual devastation, follow me as I share my story as a women with candid and transparent writing.
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Sunday, June 5, 2011
Kobe, Destined For This Moment
During a very heated election an angry women opposed to my views said, would you send your son to this war!!! I stood there wanting to be civil and represent my opinion in a manner that would represent the character I display in my life that should also apply in my politics, I said yes mama, I would, for one thing, I have to believe God holds my sons destiny in His hand, well she sure she didn't like that answer, and what an honorable and noble thing to give ones life for his country, even my own sons. She stood there, rather dumbfounded, and I handed her my choice for president button and she just stared at her palm looking down at it, all anger leaving her face. You see I think alot of people talk the talk but are not willing to walk the walk. And sometimes, we go through great pains and lost in our own lives just for a moment of our meeting our destiny face to face. Sometimes that destiny may be death. With that death, it brings the people around that passing to better places, God uses that life to fill the destiny, the destiny He had planned for them. Haven't you heard people say, they felt like a person was on loan, an angel sent from heaven to rescue or bring them to higher places. Nothing does that better than a child. My father and mother got married very young and she to this day says God knew how to control them by giving them me. Because the moment I arrived, they where in church. That brings me to a very special and dear friend of mine. Today, I dedicate my post to Kobe Kyle had he lived he would be 13 today.. So today I dedicate my post to him. Nic, we met on a Wednesday night and the next time we were together, she knew all our financial troubles. There were no secrets. When it had gotten so bad, and the electric had been shut off, Kenny had dropped me and 6 loads of our dirty laundry off at her house and I didn't give it a second thought, because I would have done it for her in a minute. Why I felt the comfort with Nic is the same reason she felt it with me, we were kindred spirits, we sooooo connected on a deep level, we have a bond to this day I dont understand. What God was doing in her and Kyles life was like sitting back and watching a tragic comedy except it awe inspiring. It was like two kids raising four kids. Not that they are not responsible, they are just all about fun!! But, saying that they have had there struggles and ther pains and many collisions with trouble. Nic so inspires me with her shear tenacity determination and will to see her family serve God and her marriage be one of greatness. There was no pretense or putting on with Nic, I could be completely who I am with her and she loved me for who I was. She thought I was great!! And, likewise, I think the world of Nic. And what a testament to the beauty of applying God principles to your life, not rules, or regulations, or brow beatings, but Gods principles, the very best for your life, Kyle and Nics life has just exlpoded into a testament of the repercussions of this. Not bondage but FREEDOM!!! The absolute love of her life was born when Nic was just 17 yrs old. Kobe Kyle Steinmetz. , he was born a healthy baby boy, on June 4, 1998, 2 and half yrs later when she was bathing him she found a hugh lump that was a rare form of kidney cancer, wilms tumor.. Kobe would go through 3 years of extensive treatments, surgeries and many many up and downs with his health., yet his spirit would never lose it ability to lift up the people around him, most importantly his young parents. They would experience the emotions no parents should have to experience, the moments of darkness, the moments in the privacy of there own thoughts when they had to cry out and ask God why, why our baby, why Kobe, he has the spirit of an angel. How will we survive the lost of him. It is not fair. How do we go on from here as a couple. The nights laying and watching him sleep afraid to close your eyes for fear he might slip away I can try to imagine what it must have felt like, but I would be lying to say I understand. It is not possible to understand emotions of that magnitude, unless you have also lost a child. So young to face such big and complex issues. If you go to there house ther is picture everywhere of the boy, never crying never frowning always happy, he was a unique and gifted child in the sense he had a joy that his sickness never took from him. Even pictures of him without hair or in the hospital is always cutting up or playing around. The moment she gave Kobe up was the moment he gave her permission to let him go. You see a Mom never gives up on her child. And the dynamic between Kobe and Nic was one of he took care of his Mom, they were a team, he was her life line, he gave her a reason to be the best she could be, just as my Mom said God knew how to straighten her and my Dad out, well God knew the way to Nic and Kyles heart, and that was through that baby boy, and his life would lead them to the life, the full life that God had intended for them. Kobe laid the foundation for his sisters today, the life, the good life, his sisters will be the benefactors of, they owe to Kobe. Nic has often told me of the last moments she had with him, when he released her to let him go, and he assured her he was an angel. Nic knew she would see Kobe again. She said the day he passed was as beautiful as the day he was born. Gods presence was there and it gave them super natural peace. She now has 4 beautiful girls, yes 4 GIRLS!! But as I was getting my thoughts for this post my thoughts were on sacrifice and sometimes our destiny might be... just for a moment in time. Everything building for one moment in time! Nic will tell you had it not been for Kobe, her life, Kyles life ,was headed no where fast. the last year of Kobes life she got pregnant and they started to rebuild what had been a very difficult 2 years, but through kobe life they came to know God and the process started. That young couple could have turned to substance abuse or bitterness and allowed his death to consume them and ruin what hope his little life had been and all his pain and all his suffering would have been in vain. Instead through the mercy and grace of who God is and the nature of who He is He has came into this family and transformed it. Through the short and tragic, so it would seem life of Kobe, God has made something good come out of his young life. And I feel confident somehow in his young little life he knew his Mom was gonna be alright. They were tight, they had a closeness that was very unique and unusual, and I think God gave that child a peace that his Mother was gonna be alright. And God had honored that.