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Monday, May 16, 2011

Side Effects.

Well, they say you can have a break down bio chemically, genetically, or through a traumatic situation. I don't think I have had what you would think of as typical break down. But I think I have had some alteration to my system. I went almost 14 days with no sleep and  was also having severe migraines. I just went through the change of life that brings on many physical as well as, lets just say, "mental" changes, and the tremendous amount of stress we have been under the past 3 year years I think has played a role as well. They put me on medication which I was very apprehensive about because I am not a big fan of prescription drugs. My symptoms were just too severe for me to deal with anymore, or so I thought. The side effects of this medicine may be worse. It has corrected my sleeping, hot flashes and migraines but I am completely spaced out!  I cannot spell, which I am hyper sensitive about! Kenny and I got married and I did not finish college. I am usually an excellent speller. I can't spell CAT!   I go to speak and cannot think of the word. Or I will blurt out and start talking when someone else is talking! It is insane! As if my life is not stressful enough. Well my husband, Tom (I call him that when his not being as understanding  or sensitive as I think he should be), sat me down and wanted to know what in the world was wrong with me. "Angie I will be talking to you and you just take off on something else. Or you start doing something and get up and start something else..Or your not petting me enough . Bla bla bla." Well Tom lets see we have no income, no cash reserve, no gas in the bronco, I am in menopause and I am on anti-seizure medication. Do you want to see my head spin around? And he gave me advice about my blog! When he was writing his book I made one comment and good Lord you would have thought I shot his Momma. So I sat in my chair and thought about all the Moms that face these difficult situations, but face them by themselves. And I thought God please give me the strenght to never lose the ability to have joy in whatever situation I find myself in. It reminded of Paul and how he described his situation, "His grace is sufficient for me for power is perfected in weakness. Gladly I will boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." He wasn't dwelling on his situation I think he was rejoicing over his weakness and the fact that God's grace empowers him to reign victorious over those weaknesses. I think, as women, we led very secretive lives and by doing that we live very lonely and secluded lives. I know myself, I am far more effective when I am forced into a situation I am not comfortable with. If Gods grace was sufficient for a man who left his family, his home, was ship wrecked, imprisoned, stoned, and left for dead, I am confident His Grace can get me through the struggle ahead of us. My poor spelling, turrets, drifting off, lack of attention to my husband, side effects,head spinning, LOL, you get my point .........

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